Writing Blog

Casting Call - Dashing Onions Audio presents The Listening Jar

18/2/2019

AUDITIONS FOR THE LISTENING JAR

Geoff's abroad, about to seal the business deal of his career, when his personal assistant Margot goes missing in a local bazaar. But the souvenirs she finds there are listening... and prising the lids off their darkest secrets.

Dashing Onions' next production is The Listening Jar.
It's a one-off, 10 minute long horror. Roles are unpaid.

Audition deadline Midnight GMT on Saturday 23rd February, and lines then due by Saturday 9th March 2019.

Please send your auditions to Fiona at dashingonions@gmail.com
Please record your audition lines in Mono, 44,100 kHz
wav or flac.
Please send raw files with no noise-reduction or filters.
Go for as many parts as you like, each part in a separate file labelled Character name_your name, so eg. Man_OrsonWelles.mp3
Have loads of fun with it! We look forward to hearing them!

GEOFF (main role)
(M, American, 40s+ An experienced businessman, self-assured, direct, time is money and life is too short for small talk or niceties).

1) There you are! I was hunting all over for you. We don't have time for bazaars - Mr B is waiting on us to finalize the factory deal. (SOTTO) And you're being ripped off. This is junk! My kids could make something better than this!
2) (Terrified) What was that? Stop it! It's not my fault! I didn't mean to... stop it!!!
3) 20 seconds of screaming or roaring or droning or singing anything tuneless and not copyright(!), trying to keep a noise out. It doesn't have to be loud, more like an adult version of “lalalala not listening!” Or even a childlike version. Have a play! :-)

MARGOT (main role)
(F, any accent, any adult working age. She is Geoff's PA. Long-suffering, used to smoothing waters with his clients. Responsible, professional and kind.

1) I'm sorry! He's like this sometimes. Are you alright?
2) ...Thank you so much for your hospitality. We're delighted to be in partnership and (GOING OFF) I'll get back to you as soon as I can...
3) (WORRIED) I think you've caught the sun Mr Scott. Shall I postpone?

SHOP OWNER
(Any non-American accent – feel free to experiment. Any gender. A knowledgeable and concerned owner of a shop).

Francais? Espanol? English? Welcome to my shop!
(URGENT, STARTING TO PANIC) You must come here! Right now! You must listen!

MR/MS B (Any gender. Factory owner, very polite but all professional. Not easily flappable).

1) Apologies for the delay! The main office is just up here. There is a good view of the workshop floor. Please follow me. We'll get this sealed and signed!

WORKERS' LINES – The audition contains all of them, so if you are successful you don't have to send any further lines. Feel free to improvise more if you'd like to.

If you do have a large JAM JAR or VASE at home and would like to send 2 versions, one with the lines said into the jar, one said normally, we are experimenting to find which sounds better!
A million thanks!

WORKERS (in US factory) – These can be any gender and any accent. Ideally 1 jam jar version of each, 1 not.

1) Outsourced?! (BEAT) Redundancies all round!
2) They're outsourcing the lot to some place where they can pay peanuts.
3) I got a family to feed. I put my life into this company.
4) What am I gonna do?
5) I can't afford to be laid off!
6) How do I tell my kids?

WORKERS (In a non-US factory, any genders, any accents). Ideally 1 jam jar version of each, 1 not.

1) Twelve hours a day! Never a rest!
2) I need more overtime to keep food on the table.
3) More overtime!
4) I'm so tired!
5) Three injuries this week! Keep your eyes on what you're doing people!
6) A hundred units a day. That's what the big boss wants or we all lose our jobs!
7) Come on!

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A New Look

28/6/2018

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With various projects underway, most of which - in grand Audio Drama tradition - are collaborative, I have decided to umbrella my independent projects that I'm producing under the name of Dashing Onions.

For the idea for the name, I have my friend the lovely Joe Stofko, longtime actor and voice actor, to thank.
He happened to mention Egyptian Walking Onions to me. These brilliant plants are little clumps of onions which sprout long stems. At the top of those stems they grow more little onion bulbs which grow and grow... until they arch right over onto the ground nearby. They then work themselves into the soil, start growing a stem, and the process repeats. So these onions can move across the earth, sprouting and falling their way into fertile patches.

If a plant can be that versatile and adaptive, then what can we achieve?
Walking Onions sounded a bit slow and... pedestrian (boom boom!)
A quick look in the thesaurus and Dashing stood out as the perfect adjective in absolutely every sense. It felt very 1920s, so I went with a colour palette to match, and Dashing Onions was born. Please keep a look out for future productions under this logo!

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Casting Call - Hell Is For Other People

1/6/2018

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*THIS IS ALL CAST AND IN PRODUCTION. THANKS VERY MUCH!*

Mixing is well underway now for When We Were Two, but a small project has arisen as part of ADPP's Scriptwriting Competition, so here is a speedy casting call:

Deadline: Saturday 2nd June 2018

For the Audio Drama Production Podcast's Scriptwriting Competition 2018 I am excited to be producing, along with the sound designer Steve Blizin, "Hell Is For Other People" by Leslie McMurtry.
It's an atmospheric horror, where something just not quite right is going on... a wonderful script that should be enormous fun to perform in. The characters get to go through quite a journey of emotions as they begin to realise, too late, what is happening.
It is not a paid project, but is also short - running time just under 10 minutes in total, so it won't be a huge commitment. It will form part of the Competition festival, and will be
aired via The Audio Drama Network.
We're looking for the following parts. Do have lots of fun with them - further instructions on sound files and so on below:

RICKY PADILLA (M) 30s, cool, irresponsible

This is Central—could be dangerous, right,
people on the streets and crap.

That’s why they got the door security, right?
(talking about the future)Yeah, dude. Moving to LA. Playing in the clubs.
Wowowwowowowowwww (mimics playing electric guitar)

(Angry and starting to properly panic)
Hey, lady, are you deaf? Stop this right now!

SYBIL FELDMAN (F) 20s, friendly, jumpy

Oh, come on! Hurry up! I’m parked in the meter. I only put
in enough for fifteen minutes.

Thailand. I been planning it for a long time. Surfing, snorkelling,
ripping off tourists, living cheap. Paradise.

SYBIL screams in exasperation

SYBIL. (sobbing) I want my mom!

RECEPTIONIST (F), any age, robotic

Come in, we’ll be right with you. If you just sit
in the waiting room, there are magazines and free Wifi. Just
wait for your name to appear on the big TV screen and take
the door on the right

RECEPTIONIST laughs hysterically

MRS VARGAS, (F) elderly

(answering phone) Yes—who’s this?

(worried) Oh-oh.

(cross)And I don’t like people like you, Sybil.
I don’t like them one bit

MAN (M), any age, sounds evil

Your checking account may have been compromised. In
order to lock down the account to prevent further unlawful
access, I’m going to need to confirm a few details with you.

Please send your auditions to Fiona at fthraille@googlemail.com
Please record your audition lines in mono, 44,100 kHz, 128kbps mp3 or higher - or a flac.
Please send raw files with no noise-reduction or filters or anything like that.
Go for as many parts as you like, each part in a separate file labelled Character name_your name,
so eg. Man_OrsonWelles.mp3
Have loads of fun with it! We look forward to hearing them!

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Auditions Open for New Audio Drama play "When We Were Two"

23/11/2017

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Auditions are now open for When We Were Two, a new audio drama I have written. It will be recorded remotely, so anyone with access to a home studio is ever so welcome to audition.

Sue, recently separated and caring for an elderly relative, is thrilled when her son and family come back into her life. But her new flat is too small, and much worse - the elderly Nain senses something unnatural happening: things have gone terribly wrong.
Sue will have to make life and death choices on behalf of every one of them.

It is set in the UK in the present day. While Sue, Davey and Robert are written as Londoners, there could be some flexibility in other UK accents for them, so do feel free to offer others.
Running time approximately 35-40 minutes long.
It is a non-profit project, so the roles are unpaid.

To Audition – technical details

Please record a separate file for each character if you want to audition for more than one. Within that file, around 3 takes of each line would be absolutely perfect

Please send files as a flac file or mp3 at 192kbps, (ideally 16 bit 44100hz)
labelled as NameOfCharacter_YourName. (eg. Sue_FionaThraille)
to fthraille@googlemail.com by Saturday 2nd December 2017

Cast will be announced by Monday 4th December and scripts will go out then.
Deadline for lines: Friday 5th January 2018. I look forward to hearing your auditions!

CAST

SUE– (f) 40s-50s – Londoner - An affectionate woman, down to earth, trying to be a bit cheery in the face of depression and struggling on.

1
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that! It's computers, Nain. They can do things with them, him and his mates. You wouldn't understand. They can do clever stuff nowadays, wind each other up. I don't get the joke either, but that's what it is. (BEAT) Do you hear that? That noise again...

2
Oh, this is all too much. (BEAT) I love you Davey. You're having a difficult time is all. I don't care what's going on, I don't need to know. You don't need your savings while you're here. But you do need a shower and a rest. We'll talk about what's worrying you later.

3
Hello? [horrified gasp] Who are you? (BEAT) Oh God! Go away! No...!
It's not happening, it's not happening, it's not happening...

NAIN (elderly) From the Welsh Valleys – Nain has had a tough life, seen it all, and while aged she's not at all frail. Opinionated, practical but critical to the point of callousness.

1
(SFX – The doorbell rings again)
Well? Don't look at me to answer it. It's no-one for me. (SHOUTS) And if someone's playing silly beggars again, you drag them in. I'll see to them!

2
(SUE: You remember Nain, don't you Davey?)
Course not. he's far too young. (BEAT) Nice to see you all grown up. Quite a looker, just like your great grandfather, God rest his soul. (BEAT) I'm helping your mother out while she comes to terms with everything: You leaving her, then your father - (MOVING OFF) little wonder the poor girl doesn't know her proverbial from her elbow.

3
Something's wrong about all this. You know it too, deep in your bones, so don't deny it. There's something unnatural at work. Something bad.

DAVEY (m, early 20s) Sue’s son, Londoner – now studying in Cardiff. A nice lad, content with a 'normal' student life, dazed by anything unusual.

1
It was last Thursday, no... Wednesday, right? Middle of the week, middle of the month, nothing to mark the day. Lectures as normal, a quick drink with Iwan and Pete in the pub. I go home, y'know, to Topaz Street. Chat to Andy for a while and turn in and then... well... I wake up - and my bedroom in Topaz street's... gone.

2
(SUE: Do you think you should see a doctor?)
What for? See if they've got a job going? (BEAT) Mum, I worked my arse off and now I've lost it all. Jen and I are on the brink and my life's down the pan. I didn't choose all this!

JEN (f, early 20s) From Cardiff – Davey's ex-girlfriend. Normally organised and capable.

1
I love him just as much as she did! We just want to get on with living in peace.
(SUE: Right. So according to your tale...)
It's not a tale! This is my life!

2
Don't tell Davey I told you. Thing is, he's afraid you won't love him as much if you know.

3
(ARGUING)...As a stopgap, yes. But we've got to have some sort of plan. We can't live in this bedroom forever!

ROBERT (m, 40s/50s) Londoner – Charming, fun, unfaithful, a Jack the Lad who's honest about his dishonesty

1.
(SUE: Did you do this?)
Did I do what? If you're talking about something from way back, yeah, hands up, I probably did it. (BEAT) You alright?

2.
Ey, chin up, love. You looked less serious when you found out about Joanna.

3.
I won't beat about the bush... Sue, - I've been having counselling. Yeah, I know, last person you'd expect, eh? (BEAT)I'll admit, at first I was hoping for a quick fix, sort me out, get me back in the saddle, y'know? But. Oh I dunno. It's got me thinking.

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Der Tickentocker - Cooperantem Audio

7/9/2013

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I'm pleased to announce that Cooperantem Audio's first release in October will be my Halloween short, Der Tickentocker.

“Hark! The heart beats in the clock.
The time is come for Tickentock.”

A trailer for a lost silent movie, an ancient folktale and two couples foolish enough to recreate the past.

We have a superb cast in Kymm Zuckert, Marleigh Norton, Pete Milan and Dave Morgan. I am currently going through and choosing the best takes to fit together to make it sound as if the actors are having natural conversations with one another. The actors usually do three or four takes of each line, so there are a lot of possibilities.

After this part, I'll pan the lines to give the impression that the actors are speaking and moving within a 3-dimensional space. Next step is to insert sound effects and, finally, music.

It's an odd feeling, mixing actors' lines of your script. Sometimes they will have an unexpected take on the emotion or pace of a line, and that can take it in a slightly different direction. This is the time-consuming, yet the most magical part of writing for audio; hearing your script come alive and metamorphose from something to be read into something to be listened to. There are always steps involved, stages where you can despair that it sounds so rough and unlike the final production you're aiming at. But as each element comes together, there is nothing else quite like the process.

Der Tickentocker will be released in time for Halloween at Cooperantem Audio and on iTunes.

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Cooperantem Audio

4/12/2012

1 Comment

With some excitement I can announce the coming of Cooperantem Audio.

It's a new platform for original audio drama, set up by Chris Brittain, M Sieiro Garcia and myself.

We'll be releasing series and one-offs later in 2013.

And that means we've all been doing a lot of writing.

I've gone through some unfinished projects and finished them, so at editing stage are a one-off 45 minute play (a straightforward drama, although with slightly skew-wiff reality and some Welsh mythology) and a horror short, again with some mythology - although made up this time - hopefully for Halloween.

Otherwise, I have written two and three quarter episodes of a mini-series for preschoolers, "Mr Mostyn's Box of Magical Noises". As there may only be one more story, it will truly be mini at this rate!

Red Sands Investigations II is still on the back-burner for a while, although I did write more during Nanowrimo. It was a scene based in a cafe, and with cat-loving owners in mind, I wondered whether they could actually run a cafe full of cats, and was amazed and delighted to find that such cafes do exist in Japan. And now in Red Sands, too.

Taking part in Nanowrimo (albeit at a reduced rate of words per day) was, as ever, fun and also enlightening. I would heartily recommend it, alone, for bringing a social aspect to writing. Every time, taking part teaches everyone something new. This time, it was that I find prose much, much harder to write than dialogue now.

Writing is not simply writing - and the skills for writing novels can be quite different from those for writing audio, or poetry or anything else. Books are wonderful gateways into worlds and I would love to write one, but for the moment it's audio that has that immediacy, action, that challenge of succinctness that's so exciting.

I think I'm also finding a pattern in things I love writing about: mythology, whether real or invented, intruding on 'normal' lives; phony, melodramatic end of the pier history, be it fortune-tellers, conjurers, music hall performers, etc. ; alternate worlds; and mystery of some form, with a real-world backdrop. Thinking about it, I've not really grown up from my young adolescent days, being knocked sideways by the creepy mythical rumblings and time-slip adventures of Alan Garner, Penelope Farmer, Catherine Storr, Gillian Cross and E Nesbitt, just for starters. And Philippa Pearce's 'Tom's Midnight Garden' remains my favourite book of all time.

They say 'write what you know', but perhaps it's more 'write what you want to read'. Or listen to.
So that's where I'll be aiming from now on. Whether it works out or not, then at least the process will be enjoyable, and that's what counts.

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From the Archives - Red Sands Investigations Update #11

28/1/2012

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Posted on April 4, 2010 at 2:19 PM
Red Sands Investigations has been out and complete for a few months now and I have been thinking about a possible two-part sequel.

I do have a sketchy plot outline and a couple of new characters, although much of it will centre on the old characters, readjusting to a slightly different town now that different people are vying to run things.

It's still very much at a pre-pitch stage, but if I can get it into a story that definitely seems worth telling, then I'll pitch it and see what happens. The original Red Sands is complete in its own way, so I don't want to try to do anything to it if that doesn't actually add anything to the original. So yes, this is all very tentative at the moment.

So far the sequel involves donkeys, puppets and blackmail, which feels like a fun combination to start with at any rate..

Anyhow, from this moment I'm actively working on it, so hopefully it'll be plotted out in the next couple of weeks and I'll see from there if it's pitchable. Here's hoping so.

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From the Archives - Red Sands Investigations #10

28/1/2012

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Posted on October 10, 2009 at 1:25 AM
Just four days to go before the release of Episode 1. The website is up on the Pendant pages, with cast details, background, a promo and an i-Tunes link.

Marleigh - in her editor's hat - and I recorded a commentary for episode 1. They're not easy, as it's an on-the-spot conversation in this case with a slight time delay also, but still it was fun.

There's only one very minor spoiler - about character interaction rather than plot, which I thought about beeping out, but as it's so woven into the conversation it would have meant a lot of extra beeping here and there. Never mind.

The final thing to do is to make a blooper reel when I can find the time - the cast made some lovely ones, and Marleigh's lines often had a running commentary that was both useful and hilarious in places, along with a huge number of adlibs, many of which made it into the show. Other than that, though, Red Sands is finished, the beach huts are locked against the elements and the fair is closed down for the season.

Thanks to the absolutely wonderful cast and people at Pendant - in particular Jeffrey, Marleigh, Panda & Dale. Hope you enjoy the show.

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From the Archives - Red Sands Investigations #9

28/1/2012

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Posted on July 10, 2009 at 6:57 PM
On the home straight... I'm now working on Episode 4, which being the finale is kind of enormous. Twenty three scenes in total, although many of them are very short, as the action speeds up. Nonetheless, there's still a long way to go and very little time left. I'm much more in the swing of it, now, and with less time to faff around and worry about it, it's getting there quicker. Also, as certain locations come up again, the fx and so on are already decided, which makes things easier.

Something curious has happened with the acting. Originally, this was a 5 part piece. When I started holding auditions, I'd written about 4.5 episodes. To make it tighter, I decided to ditch a branch of the storyline and so extensively rewrote parts 3 & 4.

In the original story, there was a romantic brush between two of the characters. In the later draft, I removed all of that. So Nick, Dale and Tiff are pretty direct most of the time (Tiff only when she gets drunk - although that's a fair old bit of the time...) but otherwise, while other characters do hold slight torches for each other, it's very much repressed.

So, I was very surprised to hear, when the two actors' lines came in, that they both still sounded like they were on the brink of a relationship, even though I'm certain I removed any hint of it.

I could be mistaken of course, although in fact, one actor apologised for one take, where they thought it might have sounded too flirty. I'm purposely not naming the characters as when the episode is released, I'll see if they notice it and ask if it was a conscious thing on their parts, or not! I do find it interesting with satellite shows how actors can sometimes seem to predict each others' deliveries with uncanny accuracy. When doing Wonder Woman, I had a scene with half a dozen characters reciting a prayer. Bizarrely, almost all of them came back with such similarity in tempo and delivery that I actually had to cut them up quite a bit to stop them all merging into one another. Actorly ESP!

Jeffrey sent me the logo he's been working on and it is simply stunning.
It's dead exciting!

Well, 22 scenes left... and hopefully about 2 weeks... and counting...

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From the Archives - Red Sands Investigations #8

28/1/2012

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Posted by fthrll on June 12, 2009 at 1:16 AM
Episode 1 is now complete and has been accepted by Pendant as is, which is very heartening. It's a real boost to know that they think the style works - it'll make it much easier to continue that with the music and fx in the next episode, now.

Episode 2 is a little trickier to mix than 1 as it has musical numbers in it, for starters, but I prefer it as a story, which also helps. Episode 1 was really establishing the main characters.

The musical number is going to be fun - I've done it once before in this way. The actor listens to the music and then performs the song. The job then is to match the timing of the original music to the actor's singing, through extending or adding or removing notes or part of them. In the last case, it was a sung piece over arpeggios - it was easy to break up the accompaniment because it was all individual notes, but it took a couple of hundred cuts to edit and the timing itself wasn't so easy. I really enjoyed doing it, but it was very much a trial and error thing (with lots of error!)

In this case, I'm hoping it'll be simpler, as it's a rehearsal situation in a theatre with an elderly pianist. T actor is performing a Music Hall-style song, so has sent along a semi-sung, semi-spoken version. (Which, I have to say, has fantastic delivery - I was blown away by it). So it isn't meant to be melodic or polished, anyway, which hopefully will make it easier to tackle.

Six weeks left to mix Eps2-4. Episode 2 should be done by the end of next week. It's just about doable. Just...

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Fiona Thraille is an actor, writer, audio drama creator and active member of the internet audio drama community. She also provides voiceover and narration for educational and commercial projects.

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